You Wanna Be Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Since Spotify randomly played it on my way back from Bandung, this particular song has been living freely in my brain for a whole month now! (G-damn it!)

My inner circle knows best that for these two years, I have been drifted away from what used to be my inmost passion. I taught and still teaching, and yes I love my student so very much! But I kinda lost big chunk of interests and the connectios to my calling every now and then. It was rapidly wearing off. I thought it was normal; the pandemic after all made us questioning every life choice, and this could also be the case for me. But something was really off. I lost even the slightest ignition; no passion, no uplifting spirit.

But after my last trip to Bandung, the idle yet maukish city I called second home, I finally got an answer. It's not that it was dead after all. It was hibernating, buried under blankets of stress and pretension and unnecessarily over-mundane loads...

It all started about two months ago when Thijs, my supervisor in Leiden, notified that he would visit Bandung with Harold, a colleague of mine who is finishing his disertation soon. I was thrilled. It was meant to be a short hello-and-goodbye; two days is enough, one day for a little reunion, and another day to do some chores at ITB. But then upon meeting them, I was asked to identify some bovid elements and analyzing stuffs. Two days then went to be 5 days.

It was such a coincidence that at the end of the week, there was a 'party' celebrating the professorship inauguration of three geology lecturers, one of which used to be my undergrad thesis spv. Mika and Ben asked me to stay to attend the celebration. So I did.

Then afterwards, we went to the lab to identify some fossil remains from our ongoing research. While waiting for my shuttle bus to arrive, me, Ben, and Pierre out of boredom arranged a cat skeleton (silly!) which Ben had macerated a while ago. And yeah, nerds meet nerds, what could you expect (haha). It was fun categorizing every part and getting lost in finding the articulation. Nerdy vocabs flew across the room, the air filled with laughter and disappointment (don't blame us, it was a tiny cat after all, lol).

In the shuttle bus, when it passed the sky bridge somewhere in the nowhere, Spotify randomly played this song, originally by Gary Protnoy, but covered gracefully by Sophia, a Dutch singer.

Making your way in the world today Takes everything you've got Taking a break from all your worries Sure would help a lot Wouldn't you like to get away

Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name And they're always glad you came You want to be where you can see Our troubles are all the same You want to be where everybody knows your name

I kept smiling until it began to hurt; oh dear teary eyes.

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

This is particularly true. In my current working place, I feel this overwhelming sense of loneliness. I witnessed what Adit, lecturer from other other faculty in the same workplace, once said, "Here, everyone is busy saving their own lives". The connection was there, but it was somehow merely professional. With one or two, I could share more personally (thanks for sticking out for me, mas-mbak), we usually talked about our personal matters and workloads and gave moral support to each other.

The loneliness probably stem from the lack of staffs in our department. We were very much occupied with cramped teaching schedule, admin works, and non-stop supervising a handful students, that clearly were out of our capabilities. Here, one research focus is usually handled by one person, so it was quite 'lonely' in a sense. I was alone doing fossils and ongoing learning philosophy. Collaboration? Sure do. But I feel something is off. I don't exactly understand how to decipher this feeling, but it sure does exist.

What particularly strikes me in the Bandung trip is when for the first time after years, I finally met again, in person, with Prof. Zaim. Sure we kept good contact once in a while, and met virtually during his retirement day, but it was truly special. I looked at him more as my spiritual father, rather than a lecturer, for he kept providing me uncountable moral supports and encouragements in this narrow road. When we finally met, I was treated like a returning prodigal son (lol) and I was so grateful for that.

A particular encounter with Pak Uki and Pak Erwin also touched my heart. They could still recognized me and were very welcoming! We curhat all the way through haha, about the system, career, and other stuff. During my student year, I always resented Pak Uki's lessons. Not because he was a bad lecturer (he was a great one indeed!), but I couldn't find any sparks in the subject, again not his fault. I once came into his office to beg him for advises on how to catch up with his lecture, and he gave me pretty good ones. He knew my struggle, he understood my overwhelming passion in paleo, and years later I heard that he used my story into formulating their new curriculum. I think it has turned into some imprinted memories/lesson for both of us, somehow, haha. Then, our expression perhaps said it all when we finally met again this time :)

And also Mika and Ben, and Pak Nur. They were the main machine that kept me feeling so welcome and home. Time passed with sharing loads our of our chest, exploring ideas, and discussing what the future holds. I was not treated like an outsider, again, much like a prodigal son. They convinced me to extend my visit until the inauguration party (aside from doing tasks for the research). I couldn't say enough good things about them, so let me just stick it to my heart :) Biggest tightest warmest hug and thank you for you both!

And they're always glad you came

Well, I hope they are hahaha. Jangan kapok ya, please :') I won't be upset if they don't remember my name, or even not knowing my name at all. But I absolutely want to be where I can relate to everybody, having similar struggles and questions, to whom I can share laughter and occassionally, curse words :) And it felt it so warmly here, at-6.888406, 107.612119.

You want to be where you can see Our troubles are all the same You want to go where everybody knows your name

It sparked the joy again. It has awakened the flame. I now feel stronger and more connected to my calling. I feel alive again.

Two weeks later, I went to Trinil for another fieldwork with colleagues from Arkenas (BRIN) and Naturalis. And again, that flame went stronger. Made new friend around the same age, sharing similar frequency and of course, latin terminologies :) Nerds gonna be nerds.

Well yeah.... I could never say thanks enough to Mika, Ben, Prof Zaim, Prof Aswan, Prof Yan (wow, hattrick!), Pak Nur, all my lecturers from ITB for holding up and keep up with me. Also to Eduard, Tiwi, Olaf, Mega, thanks and cheers for our newborn friendship :)

Be glad there's one place in the world Where everybody knows your name And they're always glad you came You want to go where people know People are all the same You want to go where everybody knows your name